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The Food Addict's Dilemma

by Ken Sanes

I love Twinkies, ice cream and key lime pie,
chicken wings and burgers and anything you fry.
I love spaghetti, pizza, sweet and sour, and veal
for the way they taste and the way they make me feel.
And I have a compelling urge to continue to eat
or turn a mundane meal into an all-sugar treat.
Yes, Iím suffering from a case of food addiction
which, like craving cocaine, can be a fatal affliction.
In fact, it can damage my health and inner drive
so I feel kinda dead, instead of dead and alive.
It can even unnerve and distract with ADD,
for treats that are enjoyed merely transiently.
I obviously need to switch to a healthier diet.
I owe it to myself to now suffer it and try it,
and when cravings erupt, I need to not give in,
adding additional calories to my caloric sin,
but recognize the sweet, synthetic way I eat,
like the landline and cotillion, is now obsolete.
Yes, in the name of Cheez Whiz and everything nice,
I need to no longer roll the cholesterol dice
that can replace safer particles, large and full of fluff,
with tinier particles that are more harmful and tough.
And I need to understand that temptation is a sneak,
which says indulge now, then be good for a week.
Certainly, my defeat is something it would savor,
even as it acts like it is doing me a favor.
It tempts with taste and texture, cold and hot,
till Iím eating a McWhopper, but would really rather not.
So hereís some advice to put me on the fix:
eat vegetable carbs that are naturally complex,
and try not to migrate from treat to treat
or be afraid to consume a healthy plate of meat.
And if an apple pie beckons from another room,
spray it with Windex; spray it with perfume.
Also get some sun and use nutritious olive oil,
and try to eat foods grown in reasonably local soil.
In sum, make good choices and be in the know.
And when it comes to mastication, take it nice and slow.
If I follow the rules, it should be easy to diet,
especially since this isnít the first time Iíll try it.
I just need to picture my particles full of fluff,
not mean and heartbreaking and much-too tough.
Then Iíll know the time to diet may in fact be now.
Itís like falling off a bike -- you never forget how.

Kim Kardashian's diet secret Ė Windex!

Image: By zingyyellow
(originally posted to Flickr as Baked Cheesecake)
[CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

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